I'm all hair and glasses.

I remember being very young when I saw my first pin up girl image. I can't recall exactly what it was, or who it was, but I do remember being completely transfixed by the cheeky sexiness and playfulness of this once risqué art form. At the time I was starting to become aware of how over sexualized the world was around me, with stereotypes of beauty I could tell already I didn't fit, and the picture just captivated me. It was so different than any of the other images of woman I saw plastered all over magazines in checkout lines as my mother dragged me through them, with me feverishly flipped through all the glossy pages I could reach.
I was probably only 9 or 10, but with the joys of early onset puberty I could already tell I was never going to be tanned (Not without the risk of melanoma, thanks genetics), blonde (Not without copious amounts of dye and fry) or tall (5'5" is so tragically average). I could also tell early on that I was never going to have those unattainable skinny legs that slid effortlessly into knee high boots, even the rubber kind. I knew right away I had a better chance of looking like one of these retro stunners than Kate Moss when I came out on the other end of puberty.
Of course it goes without saying that puberty was a miserable experience. I'd say we can chart my self 
esteem and happiness with the way I looked by the following photos.

This photo was taken the year before I got glasses. I'm seven. It was probably also the last time I was happy, or at least not unhappy, or even aware, of how I looked before 'The Change'.

Thankfully Facebook didn't exist for most of my grotesque mutation into an adult, but you can imagine it: Tons of red crazy hair, face full of freckles, a wire across my bottom teeth, terrible baggy clothes and the same bronze wire framed glasses for 5 years. It got to the point where I got hit in the face with enough projectiles in gym that it was a wonder they still stayed on my face. This is the best worst picture I could find:

Here's a little number I like to call Helicopter Hair.

Thankfully around seventeen I opted for contacts instead of glasses, finally stopped mutating and became happy with how I looked, if only for a brief period until college where I forgot how to dress like a girl and gained 20 pounds of macaroni and cheese weight. Unfortunately Facebook did exist then, so yeah... Lots of unflattering photos.

*Sigh* College was two years of baggy free T-shirts and sweaters. I don't even think I plucked my eyebrows in this photo.*Shame*

Anyway, to bring you up to speed: It took a long time, but I'm finally happy with the way I look again, and I'm flipping ecstatic about how awesome I feel inside and especially on the outside. A few weekends ago I collaborated on a retro pin up shoot with Truro Photographer Jeff Babineau which turned out to be the biggest boost in self esteem you could ever imagine. The final product was better than I could have hoped for and I'll be the first to admit I was shocked I could look like this:

Who knew eh? For the complete collection of photos and the photographers take on the whole experience wander over here

There's these long stretches while you're growing up that you doubt you'll ever look or feel normal, let alone beautiful. It felt so empowering to own my looks and to own my sexy self and to realize all that growing up crap finally amounted to something awesome.


I love that I got to live out a small silly little girl's fantasy that one day I wouldn't only look like a pin up model, but I'd get to be one too, even just for an afternoon. 


My awkward 12 year old self would've so been stoked.